"The soul becomes dyed with the color of its thoughts..."

If you've never watched the 1987 film The Princess Bride, you are missing out!  There's a scene in the movie when the character Prince Humperdinck (played by the actor Chris Sarandon) says, "I always think everything could be a trap - which is why I'm still alive."  That is certainly one way to view the world.  It's a bit pessimistic, but it seems to be a common viewpoint.  For example, how many times in your childhood did your parents tell you that the "world isn't fair" or that "the world is a dangerous place"?  With the former case in regards to Prince Humperdinck, the belief is that by always preparing for the worst, one is neither surprised or caught unprepared (which sounds a lot like the High Reliability Organization characteristic of "Preoccupation with failure" doesn't it?).  In the latter case, parents want to instill a sense of caution in their children.

The ancient Roman emperor and Stoic philosopher, Marcus Aurelius, wrote in his Meditations, "Your mind will be like its habitual thoughts; for the soul becomes dyed with the color of its thoughts."  I wonder then, if choosing to be pessimistic about our view of the world tends to be self-reinforcing?  As it turns out, a pessimism likely begets pessimism.  I came across an interesting study in the Journal of Positive Psychology, entitled "Parents think - incorrectly - that teaching their children that the world is a bad place is likely best for them".  

The study investigators first surveyed a group of parents to determine the beliefs about the world ("the world isn't fair" versus "the world is just", "the world is dangerous" versus "the world is safe", etc) that they instilled in their children.  The vast majority of patients surveyed thought that seeing the world as distinctly positive was not good parenting.  Rather, most tended to teach their children that the world was dangerous and unfair.  Consistent with Prince Humperdinck's statement above, most parents felt that the best way to prepare to children to successfully navigate life was to teach them that the world is a bad place.

The next part of the study was even more interesting.  The investigators leveraged six pre-existing surveys of individuals from 48 different job categories who answered a variety of questions about their job success and satisfaction, general and mental health, and overall satisfaction with life.  Their results were based on over 4,500 different survey subjects.  In general, a negative or pessimistic outlook on life ("the world isn't fair" or "the world is a dangerous place") strongly correlated with lower rates of job satisfaction and success, worse general and mental health, and lower satisfaction with life.  Those subjects with a pessimistic viewpoint had higher rates of depression, anxiety, and suicide when compared to their peers with a more optimistic view of the world.

These are powerful results!  As my wife would say, "It's the power of a positive attitude!"  "Happiness is the highest form of health."  So what should we do if someone intentionally tries to hurt our feelings?  After all, dealing with other people's bad behavior is one of the reasons why parents felt that telling their children that the world wasn't nice or fair was a good idea in the first place.  Again, the ancient Stoic philosophers can give us some suggestions.  Epictetus said, "If anyone tells you that a certain person speaks ill of you, do not make excuses about what is said of you but answer, "He was ignorant of my other faults, else he would not have mentioned these alone."  He goes on, "Any person capable of angering you becomes your master; he can anger you only when you permit yourself to be disturbed by him."  And finally, "another person will not do you harm unless you wish it; you will be harmed at just that time at which you take yourself to be harmed.”