Gratitude

Earlier this week, I posted about gratitude ("Real leaders say 'thank you' a lot...").  The more gratitude that leaders show (saying "thanks" for a job well done), the happier leaders will feel, and the happier that the leaders feel, the more likely they are to do nice things for their teams, such as showing gratitude.  Gratitude sets up a virtuous cycle that feeds upon itself.  Leaders that show gratitude will be more optimistic and more self-confident.  Leaders that show gratitude will have less anxiety and stress, even during difficult times.  Gratitude is an amazing virtue - the Roman philosopher Cicero said it best, ""Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all others" (recall the four cardinal virtues of antiquity - prudence, courage, temperance, and justice).

What is even more impressive, managers who show gratitude by providing specific, timely, positive feedback will actually be seen as more effective leaders by their teams.  Jack Zenger and Joseph Folkman conducted a study involving 328 managers and their direct reports (published on the "Harvard Business Review" blog "Why Do So Many Managers Avoid Giving Praise?").  An average of 13 direct reports were surveyed for each manager.  Managers who gave positive feedback more often were more likely to be rated as effective in giving honest, helpful feedback.  Interestingly enough, these same managers felt that they were more effective at providing honest, helpful feedback when they gave negative feedback!  In other words, the managers have it all wrong!  Leaders should be giving positive feedback, praise, and encouragement much more often than they give negative feedback and criticism. 

I once heard something known as the 5:1 rule ("The Ideal Praise-to-Criticism Ratio") - top-performing teams have leaders that provide positive feedback and praise five times as often as they provide negative feedback.  As it turns out, the 5:1 rule even predicts successful marriages.  John Gottman's research showed that couples that provide positive comments five times as often as negative comments are much more likely to have long-lasting marriages (the ratio is about 0.77 to 1 in couples that end up divorced).  Another study showed that John Wooden, arguably the greatest basketball coach of all time, used positive reinforcement 87% of the time (in other words, pretty darn close to the 5:1 rule).  By giving positive feedback and praise, leaders are providing the psychological safety and building the kind of loyalty and trust that will allow them to be much more successful when they have to provide negative feedback.  In other words, if you give positive feedback the majority of the time, your team will really pay attention and take seriously when you have to provide some negative feedback (as all leaders and managers will eventually have to do). 

How do you provide positive feedback?  What sort of gratitude is appropriate?  Most experts will suggest that the feedback and praise should occur as soon as possible after the deserving incident or job.  Ideally, the praise should be made in public - staff meetings are a great time to recognize team members who are doing a good job.  Most importantly, the praise should be specific rather than just simply saying, "Thank you" or "Good job" (for example, "Derek, I really liked the way that you completed that last project on time.  More importantly, you did a really great job spreading the new central line maintenance bundle to the rest of the hospital, and I think that is going to make a huge difference in lowering our central line infection rates.")

Gratitude is easy.  Gratitude makes you happy.  Gratitude is fun.  And gratitude is a great example of leadership.