"To whom does the gift belong?"

I am reading a book by the author Bronnie Ware called The Top Five Regrets of the Dying.  The book is a memoir of how Ware's life was transformed when she started to work as a palliative caregiver.  Along the way, Ware began to write a blog post on the most common regrets that the dying people she cared for expressed to her.  The blog post was so popular, that she subsequently expanded the post and turned it into her memoir.

There's a beautiful story in the book that I thought was worth passing on.  It involves the ancient philosopher and religious teacher Siddhartha Gautama, also known as The Buddha:

One day the Buddha was walking through a village.  A very angry and rude young man came up to him and began to insult him.  The Buddha was not upset by these insults.  Instead, he asked the young man, "Tell me, if you buy a gift for someone, and that person does not take it, to whom does the gift belong?"

The young man was surprised to be asked such a question and answered, "It would belong to me, because I bought the gift."

The Buddha smiled and said, "That is correct.  And it is exactly the same with your anger.  If you become angry with me and I do not get insulted, then the anger falls back on you.  You are then the only one who becomes unhappy, not me.  All you have done is hurt yourself."

In other words, if someone is angry with you and yells at you or insults you, to whom does that anger and insult belong?  If you do not accept it, it belongs to the one who was angry and not you.