"We are Family"

The 1979 Pittsburgh Pirates were loaded with talent, but by June 1st of that year, they were sitting in fourth place in the NL East Division with a Win-Loss record of 23-21, six games behind the Division leading Montreal Expos.  Their game against the San Diego Padres was delayed due to rain, and the clubhouse was rather morose and disengaged.  Nobody really wanted to be there on that night.  Willie Stargell, the Pirates' team leader (and future Hall of Famer) decided that the team needed a wake-up call.  During rain delays, the Three Rivers Stadium staff usually played the newest episode of "This Week in Baseball" on the scoreboard or played hit songs over the public address system.  On this night, they were playing music.

Pirates reliever Kent Tekulve tells what happened next, "Willie happens to be sitting at the far end of the dugout where the phones were at.  There was one phone for the bullpen. And there was one phone for the press box. Well, Willie just reaches up and grabs the press box telephone."  

Stargell tells the Pirates PR Director, Joe Safety, "Joe, when this song is done, I want you to make the announcement that this is the official Pirates clubhouse song."  The song was the pop music hit "We are Family" by Sister Sledge.  And that's what Safety did - once the song came over the public address system, the scoreboard announces, "We are Family, The Official Song of the 1979 Pirates."  Stargell originally thought of it as a joke, but the team responded and ended up winning the game.  The Pirates ended up finishing the season with a Win-Loss record of 98-64, winning the NL East by two games over the Expos. They beat the Cincinnati Reds to win their ninth National League pennant, and then they came back from a 3-1 deficit to defeat the Baltimore Orioles to win their fifth World Series title.  They were World Champions, and "We are Family" had become their theme song.

Stargell, at the age of 39 years, became the first (and so far only) player to win the National League's Most Valuable Player (MVP), the National League Championship Series MVP, and the World Series MVP in a single season.  Stargell said of the "We are Family Pirates", "There's really no words to put into the way I feel. We had to scratch, we had to crawl, and we did it together because we are family.  We didn't mean to be sassy or fancy, but we felt the song typified our ballclub."

The 1979 "We are Family Pirates" is a great story.  But can we really say that the team was really a family?  I see and hear both organizations and employees within organizations describing their culture like a family ("Welcome to the [insert company name] family").  Several years ago at a previous organization, I heard employees talking about how the organization had become too corporate and lamenting the fact that the older culture was more like a family.

If you look at how much time we spend at work (I've seen statistics suggesting that approximately 1/3 of our life is spent at work), it's tempting to want to feel like we can be ourselves at work and that we can rely upon the emotional support from our co-workers, just like we would do from the members of our family.  Unfortunately, most experts suggest that comparing an organization to a family is neither appropriate nor realistic.  As Joshua Luna writes in the Harvard Business Review (see his article, "The Toxic Effects of Branding Your Workplace a Family"), "While some aspects of a family culture, like respect, empathy, caring, a sense of belonging can add value, ultimately trying to sell your organization's culture as family-like can be more harmful than psychologically satisfying."  

Luna goes on to suggest that when we try to describe an organization's culture like that of a family, the personal and professional lines begin to blur.  Not everyone wants to feel a deeper family-like connection with their fellow employees.  There are things that we would probably share with our family members in confidence that we would never share with colleagues at work.  In addition, making a comparison between an organization and a family assumes that family life is always positive and nurturing, and that's unfortunately not always the case.  Some families are dysfunctional, so why would we want that kind of environment at work?  

We wouldn't think twice about bending over backwards to help a family member out, and that may be true when it comes to some of our colleagues at work too.  Loyalty and teamwork are certainly positive aspects of an organization's culture, though too much loyalty can have negative aspects too.  For example, blogger Johnny Handsome suggests that a family-like organizational culture brings with it unspoken expectations and pressure to behave in ways that encroach upon our personal lives. He writes, "While these expectations are rarely articulated, they are palpably present, creating an environment where declining to participate can lead to feelings of guilt and fear of being perceived as not a team player."  Joe Pinsker, writing for The Atlantic magazine (see "The Dark Side of Saying Work is Like a Family"), adds, "When I hear something like We're like a family here, I silently complete the analogy: We’ll foist obligations upon you, expect your unconditional devotion, disrespect your boundaries, and be bitter if you prioritize something above us."

We know that diverse teams are stronger and more productive (see my previous posts, "How groups can make better decisions..." and "What's good for the hive is good for the bee").  Pinsker writes, "Families can be unwelcoming to outsiders, especially when it comes to differences in class, race, or sexuality."  Tessa West, author of Jerks at Work: Toxic Coworkers and What to Do About Them, suggest, "Family implies a degree of similarity, of being a good culture fit."  We all have biases and opinions, and we often share those with our family members.  The lack of diversity of thought within an organizational "family" can be counterproductive.

It can be difficult at times to hold a family member accountable.  Family members tend to overlook negative or even harmful comments from other family members.  Cynthia Pong, a New York-based career coach says, "I have seen that happen in the workplace, excusing people who've maybe been around the company for some time, and really not holding them to account for the highly problematic things they may be saying or doing."  Luna emphasizes, "You don't fire a family member, nor do you put them through performance improvement plans."  Similarly, studies have shown that employees who work in a family-like culture are less likely to report any wrongdoing.  Luna adds, "Numerous examples and research show that overly loyal people are more likely to participate in unethical acts to keep their jobs and are also more likely to be exploited by their employer."  

I think that organizations should focus on creating a culture that focuses on empathy, a sense of belonging, and a shared purpose.  Luna suggests that organizations should be more like a sports team and less like a family, writing that "in doing so, you retain a culture of empathy, collectiveness, belonging, and shared values and goals, while outlining a performance-driven culture that respects the transactional nature of this relationship."  In order to take advantage of all the positive aspects of a family culture and avoid all of the negative ones, organizations should:

1. Define high performance and focus on purpose.  Organizations should shift from the family-like culture of "We're all in this together" to the sports team-like culture of "We share the same purpose."

2. Set clear boundaries.  As Luna writes, "The grayer the policy, the more opportunities for misunderstanding.  Make sure employees understand what's expected when it comes to work hours and what lies beyond standard work hours."

3. Mutually accept the temporary and professional nature.  Luna makes an important point here.  He suggests, "We have to be realistic about the relationships employees build with their employers and remember that it is transactional.  Most won't stay at the same company for their entire career, and that's completely okay."

I want to close with some final thoughts from the blogger Candace Coleman ("The Pitfalls of Projecting a Family Culture at Work"), who writes, "Organizations that want to convey a family-like dynamic may have good intentions. However, doing so can open the door for blurred professional and personal boundaries, limit professional growth, and lead to excessive conformity. All of this can be detrimental to employee wellbeing and job satisfaction, which can undermine the company’s success.  Instead, leaders should focus on developing organizational culture that promotes collaboration and a shared purpose and provides a wellspring of support and respect that employees need to thrive."