Acrophobia

I have a confession to make - it's one of those deep, dark secrets known only to the members of the Wheeler family.  I suffer from a condition known as "acrophobia."  If you don't know what that means (don't be too down on yourself, I had to look it up this morning), it basically means that I have a terribly irrational fear of heights.  I can't remember when my fears first started, and I really can't remember a time when I wasn't afraid of heights.


There was that time when I was probably 5 or 6 years old and one of the older kids in our neighborhood was charging the rest of us kids a quarter to climb up the rope ladder into his tree house.  I remember running to my Dad, who I think was painting our house or something like that, and asking to borrow a quarter.  Of course he gave it to me, probably without asking why I wanted a quarter.  I ran back and apparently did okay climbing the ladder up into the tree house.  The problems didn't start until the older kid thought that I had reached the end of the prescribed time limit for the quarter and it was time to come down.  "Absolutely no way!"  I refused.  I remember the gathering crowd of neighborhood kids pleading with me, trying to convince me to come down.  One of the neighborhood kids went and got her really tall, older big brother (I don't remember how tall he really was, but to a 5 or 6 year-old he seemed like he was at least 7 feet tall).  Still no luck - I just wasn't going to come down.  I was too afraid.  I finally begged one of the other kids to go get my Dad, and he helped me down.


The problems continued later in my life.  There was the time I was helping shingle a patio roof in Appalachia on a youth group mission trip.  Okay, I know what you are thinking.  Why in the world was I up on a roof if I was afraid of heights?  One word - pride.  I was too proud to let anyone else know of my fear.  I ended up falling off the roof during the climb back down the ladder - it wasn't that tall, and the ground was really soft, so I suffered nothing worse than a wounded pride and some ridicule by my fellow missionaries.  I remember another time when my friends and I (well, mostly my friends) decided it would be great fun to jump off the 10 meter high dive platform.  I remember stepping to the edge and looking down - wow that's a long way down.  But again my inner pride decided it would be better to jump than to turn around and walk back down the steps to the pool deck.


I remember repelling down the side of a repel tower when I was in the Navy.  It was one of those things that I had to do - I hated it, but I did it.  When our training instructor asked if we wanted to do what is called a "free repel" (basically, just the rope and no wall - think of using a rope to get out of a helicopter), most everyone else in our group said "yes" but I said "no thanks."  My wife is far more adventurous than me, but she knows about and tolerates my acrophobia.  I remember going ziplining on one of our wedding anniversaries a few years ago.  She loved it.  I tolerated it.


I guess what I am trying to say is this - over the years, I have learned to overcome my fear of heights.  I have put myself into these situations, either because it was the right thing to do or because I really didn't have a choice.  And in spite of my fears (I have to admit, in most of these cases, I was absolutely terrified!), I did just fine.  I survived.  There was always soft ground to land on (in the case of my roof experience in Appalachia), water to break my fall (in the case of the dive tower experience), a rope to hang on to (in the case of the repelling experience in the Navy), or a hand to hold on to (in the case of the ziplining experience with my wife). 


Fear - and in particular, what you have to do to overcome fear - is something that I have been thinking a lot about lately.  Some times, being a leader means that you have to overcome your fears.  Standing up for what you believe in, even when it is incredibly unpopular or risky, is one of the most difficult challenges that a leader will face, but face it he or she must.   I am particularly thinking about all the companies that have recently come out against the National Rifle Association.  Whatever your political stance on the gun issue, I think you can appreciate that the NRA is one of the most powerful lobbying groups in the United States today, and many a political leader and organization have found that out the hard way.  I am particularly thinking about Delta Airlines, one of those organizations who came out and stated publicly that they would no longer be affiliated with the NRA following the mass shooting in Florida (and in particular, the NRA's response and public comments to that shooting).  What did Delta Airlines get in return?  The pro-gun and pro-NRA Georgia state legislature basically took away one of Delta's tax breaks.  Delta remained firm in its conviction to do what they thought was right, even at the risk of going up against an incredibly powerful and politically very well connected organization.  They suffered retaliation as a direct result, but they remained firm.  Delta overcame the fear.   


Leadership is kind of like that.  As leaders, we can still be terrified, but we have to do what is right.  And most importantly, there is always soft ground or water to help break our fall, or a rope or hand to hold on to.