We are only human

I took an oath (both literally and figuratively) on the day that I graduated from medical school.  On that day, I became a physician.  I learned, as many of my colleagues have learned, that being a physician is not just something that you do - it is who you are every hour, every day, every year.  Being a physician doesn't stop when I leave the hospital and come home. 

I will admit that over the years, I have missed some important events at home.  I remember one particular year that I promised my son that I would be home in time to take him and his sisters out trick-or-treating on Halloween.  I specifically remember breaking a few speed limits on the way home so that I would be able to keep my promise.  My wife remembers that moment too.  Fortunately, on that particular occasion, I made it home in time from the hospital, and I was able to keep my promise.  But there were other moments that I wasn't able to do so.  Being a physician doesn’t stop when you go home.

I recently read a post on LinkedIn that really bothered me.  The individual who wrote the post was telling of an episode in which one of her family members was sick and in the hospital.  She asked her boss for some time off, and in this case, her boss said no.  I know what you are thinking - and you are absolutely right.  Could a boss really be that callous?  Would someone really do that? 

As it turns out, there was a similar story in my past too.  My son spent a little over three weeks in the Newborn Intensive Care Unit when he was born - he was very sick.  I was about five months into my third year of medical school.  As fate would have it, I was actually rotating in the same Newborn Intensive Care Unit where my son ended up being a patient.  My son's physicians and nurses were incredible.  They took great care of him - indeed, they saved his life - and they took great care of my wife and I.  To this day, we still keep in touch with my son's physician every Christmas.  I particularly remember the physician I worked with that month (who ended up being my son's attending physician too) telling me to take the rest of the month off.  He would make sure that things would be okay.  However, once the end of the month came, I was scheduled to start a three month rotation in Internal Medicine.  I remember going to the Dean's office of the medical school to ask for some time off.  We still weren't sure how long our son was going to be in the hospital, so I wanted to at least ask for one month off (remember, this was before there was any such thing as family leave, and medical students didn't have vacation time).  Regrettably, the Dean of Student Affairs was not very understanding.  He really couldn't understand why I would want to take some time off - he even asked if my son was really that sick.  I remember telling him that we were told that my son was sick enough that the odds of him surviving were only about 20-30%.  I remember telling him that I wanted to be with my son and my wife, so that I would be there with them at the bedside in case he didn't make it.  He eventually agreed to let me have some time off. 

So yes, there are people out there who are really that callous.  Some of them are even physicians.  You don't have to tell me that we are only human.  We make mistakes - even the best physicians.  But I hope that I will never make the mistake of being so callous to those on my team.  As leaders, we need to take care of our people.  We all have personal lives.  We all have things that are important to each and every one of us.  Our job as leaders is to make sure that we give the individuals on our teams the time that they deserve to take care of all the things that happen in their professional lives, as well as their personal ones. 

We are physicians - every minute, every hour, every day.  But we must remember that we are humans too.