A couple of weeks ago, one of my daughters was planning to have some friends over for a bonfire. Unfortunately, the weather didn't cooperate, and the party moved indoors instead. She had wanted to make S'mores, so we ended up with Hershey's chocolate bars, graham crackers, and marshmallows. The Hershey's bars didn't last very long, but the other night I was in the mood for a snack and opened the bag of marshmallows. Apparently marshmallows don't go bad very quickly, as they were still soft and tasty.
I got to thinking about marshmallows. There are a number of interesting facts about marshmallows. For example, did you know that marshmallows originally came from a plant (Althaea officinalis) that grows in marshy areas of Europe and western Asia? Mallow plants grow in marshes, so naturally the tasty snack that comes from the plant is called a marsh mallow! And if that is not enough to pique your interest, maybe this next example will do so. Psychologists from Stanford University in the late 1960's and early 1970's conducted a series of experiments on grade school children known famously as the Stanford marshmallow experiments.
The first set of experiments were conducted by Walter Mischel and Ebbe Ebbesen at a nursery school located on campus and involved children ages 4 to 6 years. Basically, children were placed in a room and told to sit in a chair at a table. The investigators placed a plate on the table with a special treat - a marshmallow (hence, the name of the experiment), Oreo cookie, or pretzel (the investigators made sure to ask which kind of treat an individual child preferred prior to the experiment). Each child was told that he or she could eat the treat now or wait 15 minutes and get a second treat as well. There are a number of videos on the Internet that show some of these children trying hard to resist the temptation of sitting for 15 minutes in front of their favorite treat. Some of these videos show children pulling at their pigtails, sniffing the marshmallow, sitting on their hands, even licking the marshmallow, all in an effort to resist the temptation of eating it. The experiment was conducted on a number of children (somewhere around 600 children participated in these experiments). A surprisingly small number of children chose to eat the marshmallows immediately, thereby foregoing a chance at a second treat. Approximately one-third of those children who attempted to earn a second treat by trying to wait the full 15 minutes actually were successful.
So what were the conclusions from this experiment? The experiment really is a test of "delayed gratification" - can someone put off an immediate reward now for a greater reward later? A number of long-term follow-up studies showed that those children who were able to wait the full 15 minutes for the second treat had higher SAT scores, higher educational attainment, lower body-mass index (BMI) as adults, lower rates of substance abuse and addiction, and greater overall success. Surprised by these results? I am not. "Delayed gratification" has a lot to do with self-discipline and self-control. It stands to reason that individuals who exhibit these characteristics are more likely to be successful. It also makes sense that individuals who have a longer term view of the future will be more successful.
There are probably a number of factors, both environmental and genetic that determine whether an individual has self-discipline and self-control. It is important to realize that these characteristics can also be learned and developed with practice. As Charles Duhigg explains in his book The Power of Habit, we can replace bad habits (for example, lack of self-discipline and self-control) with new habits (self-discipline and self-control) using something called a "habit loop" (cue - routine - reward). Will Durant, author of "The Story of Civilization" and "The Story of Philosophy" once paraphrased the ancient Green philosopher Aristotle and said, "We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit." Self-discipline and self-control can be taught. Self-discipline and self-control can be learned. Self-discipline and self-control can be practiced.
There are a number of ways to build self-discipline - most experts suggest some variation of the following:
1. Know your weaknesses. Don't try to hide your weaknesses or your fears. Acknowledge them. If you can't resist eating junk food, that's okay. Face your fears and temptations.
2. Remove temptations ("out of sight, out of mind"). If junk food is your Achilles heel - get rid of the junk food in your house.
3. Set clear goals and make a plan. Setting goals is important - as we have talked about before. Goals give you something to shoot for, but having a plan will help you achieve them.
4. Start small and keep things simple. If you want to start running on a regular basis, start small. When I first started running again a few years ago, I started by walking 30 minutes every night on the treadmill. I would start running 1 minute out of every five minutes, and every few days I would increase the amount of running until I was running the entire 30 minutes. Remember, "Rome was not built in a day."
5. Reward yourself when you are successful. Just as importantly, forgive yourself when you fail. Celebrate your successes by doing something nice for yourself. And if you slip backwards from time to time, that's okay. Forgive yourself and move on.
6. Believe in yourself. There are studies that strongly suggest that willpower can be improved with positive thinking. Believe in yourself. You can do it!
We will explore some of these issues in more detail in future blog posts. But for now, the next time you are eating a marshmallow, remember the Stanford marshmallow experiments and think about self-discipline and self-control.
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