Dealing with the Divos and Divas

The urban dictionary defines a "diva" as a female that "has to have her way exactly, or not at all."  The male version of a "diva" is called a "divo."  But that is not really what I wanted to talk about.  I am reading a book on two of my favorite subjects - history and the American Civil War - by the author and historian, Douglas Southall Freeman.  Freeman wrote multi-volume biographies of Robert E. Lee and George Washington, both of which won him a Pulitzer Prize.  He also wrote an accompanying three-volume history to the biography on Lee, entitled "Lee's Lieutenants: A Study in Command."  I just started the first volume, and I was struck by how much time President Jefferson Davis and Robert E. Lee (he was the senior military advisor to Jefferson Davis during the first year of the American Civil War and only later rose to fame as the General of the Army of Northern Virginia) spent massaging the egos of the various Civil War generals.  During the first year of the war, various military leaders in the Confederate Army argued back and forth about who was senior to who, both on the battlefield (at times with disastrous consequences) and while in camp.  There were several instances in which one General would refuse to carry out an order until it was verified by either Lee or Davis that the order came from them and not some other General.  I am finding the book very interesting, as I had never realized that some of the troubles experienced by President Abraham Lincoln with his generals (there was a long succession of "divo" generals before U.S. Grant took over, most of which translated to a long succession of losses on the battlefield) were also experienced on the other side.  Personalities clashed, egos were bruised, and tantrums were thrown, on both sides apparently.

While reading about these "divo" generals, I can't help but recall similar experiences that I have had over the years.  How do you deal with members of your team with big egos?  There is no question that ego can get in the way of success - just look at some of the most talented sports teams that have fizzled over the years.  I remember my own beloved 2004-2005 Indiana Pacers basketball team.  The team was loaded with personalities (some would call it "charisma") and talent (led by Reggie Miller, Jermaine O'Neal, Ron Artest, and Stephen Jackson) and was highly favored to win the Eastern Conference.  And then there was the brawl with the fans in Detroit ("Malice at the Palace"), which resulted in the suspension of several of the Pacers players for the rest of the season.  The team never recovered and went on to finish the year as the sixth best team in the Eastern Conference, losing to the Detroit Pistons in the second round of the play-offs.  There are many, many more examples, and not just in the world of sports.

So how do you deal with the divos and divas on your team?  The Harvard Business Review has published several articles that I have found helpful in this regard.  John Baldoni wrote an article "Managing Big Egos so the Entire Team Wins" and offers three key recommendations.  First, leverage the power of big goals ("nothing motivates talent like a big goal.").  Second, encourage spirited (but respectful) competition between the various egos on the team (Baldoni says to "rub egos together").  Third, make sure that the goals of the team supersede those of the individual.  Finally, when all else has failed, respectfully ask the person with the ego to find another team. 

Baldoni makes some great points.  I would add a few more.  First, at least in my experience, the individuals with the biggest egos like to be recognized, rewarded, and praised too.  I think at times that we tend to neglect praise for our superstars.  We can praise the so-called divos and divas without creating problems for the other members of the team, as long as we do it consistently and equitably.  Second, and maybe tangentially related to Baldoni's recommendation to leverage big goals, superstar talents like to be challenged.  If they insist on being treated special, acquiesce by giving them a challenging assignment ("I am giving you this assignment, because I know you will do a great job.").  Lastly, I think it is a good idea to sit down with the superstar separately and have a heart-to-heart discussion on what your expectations as the team leader are and what behaviors will just not be tolerated.  Do this in a respectful way, ideally before the rest of the team starts working together.  Establish the ground rules, and explain how you would like to leverage the superstar's talent and expertise to accomplish your shared goals. 

I am by no means an expert in this area.  I expect no one really is - especially if Abraham Lincoln had difficulty dealing with his "divo" generals (and apparently Robert E. Lee did too).  And like just about everything, a little bit of knowledge and lots of practice will do wonders in the end.