Sometimes, sorry is the best thing to say

Just the other night, my wife and I decided to go back to a restaurant that we had been to only just once in the past.  The last time we went there, the food (Thai food), service, and atmosphere were all pretty good.  I made reservations for 7:30 pm, and we arrived right on time.  The maître d' informed us that they were running a little behind schedule due to a large party and asked us to sit and wait for about 10 minutes.  Once we sat down at our table (around 7:45 pm), we ordered drinks, an appetizer, and our main course.  The drinks and appetizer came fairly quickly, but we waited quite a long time for our main course.  Two couples sat down at the table next to us, and we overheard them asking each other whether or not they were hungry enough to order appetizers (we told them, "You definitely should!").  Finally, around 9:00 pm, our main course arrived.  The food was good, we paid our bill, and left for home.

On the way to our car, both my wife commented on how it would have been nice if our server had kept us informed about the delays, perhaps even giving us an approximate time that we could expect our food.  We also thought it would have been nice to have received an apology for the long delay.  While we certainly understood that there was not a lot that our server could personally do about the delay in the kitchen, he could have done a better job of keeping us well-informed.  An apology would have been even nicer.  Perhaps if we had put himself in our place, he would have provided better service.

How often in health care do we hear of patients complaining of long delays in the waiting room?  Delays at the doctor's office are so common, they are almost completely expected, perhaps even assumed.  How much nicer would it be if we placed ourselves in our patients' shoes and treated them how we ourselves would want to be treated - telling us sorry, giving us an explanation for the delay, and providing us with an estimate of when we can expect to be seen?  There are now multiple studies and books on improving the patient and family experience in health care.  Most of the recommendations in these studies and books boil down to two simple rules - (1) treat the patient how you would want to be treated and (2) when the experience is not optimal, tell the patient that you are sorry.

Sorry is such a wonderful word.  And sometimes, sorry is the best thing to say.