Bear with me for just a moment. I want to talk about two great films today. The first film is the 1981 Disney full-length animated feature, "The Fox and the Hound". The story is loosely based upon a novel by Daniel Mannix of the same name and tells the story of the unlikely friendship between a red fox named Tod and a hound named Copper. As they both grow older, they struggle with the fact that they are meant to be enemies. At one point in the story, they do in fact become enemies. In the film's final minutes, Copper gets into a fight with a bear and is almost killed by it. Tod comes to his rescue and joins the fight, only to fall down a waterfall with the bear. As Copper approaches Tod as he lies wounded in the lake below, his owner Amos, a hunter, appears, ready to shoot Tod. Copper positions himself in front of Tod to prevent Amos from doing so, refusing to move away. Amos realizes that Tod had saved both his life and the life of his dog and decides to spare Tod. As he walks away with Copper, Tod and his former best friend share one last smile before parting for good. In the final scene, Copper lies down to take a nap, smiling as he remembers fondly the day he first met Tod.
As one blogger on Medium writes, "Friendships can be the cornerstone of our lives, providing support, joy, and companionship. However, not all friendships stand the test of time...Time marches on and always has a way of changing things, especially people. Sometimes the changes create chasms that can no longer be crossed and the challenges you were once able to tackle head-on with your friend become insurmountable."
The second film is the 1986 film "Stand by Me", a coming-of-age drama directed by the late Rob Reiner. The film was based on a novella , The Body, written by Stephen King, and it's title comes from the song, "Stand by Me" by artist, Ben E. King. The film (and novella) takes place in King's fictional town of Castle Rock on Labor Day 1959, although the film begins when author Gordon "Gordie" Lachance reads a newspaper article about the death of his childhood best friend, Chris Chambers in 1985. The rest of the film is a flashback memory to when Gordie was 12 years old, and he (played by the actor Wil Wheaton) and his three friends (played by River Phoenix, Corey Feldman, and Jerry O'Connell) set out on an adventure to find the dead body of another missing boy. "Stand by Me" is an enjoyable story, a great song, and an even better film! It's one of my absolute favorites.
I have always remembered the film's ending, when Gordie (once again in 1985 and now played by the actor Richard Dreyfuss) talks about his childhood friendships with reverie. When talking specifically about his best friend, Chris, who has recently died, he says, "Although I haven't seen him in more than ten years, I know I'll miss him forever. I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was twelve. Jesus, does anybody?"
Unfortunately, I too lost track of many, if not most, of my childhood friends. I think that happens to most of us. People do, in fact, change - for a variety of reasons. Sometimes, as two friends (or even a group of friends) grow older, they grow apart. Oftentimes, neither side is to blame. It just happens. According to a Dutch study published in the journal Social Networks, over a period of seven years the average size of personal networks is remarkably stable (see my posts, "Dunbar's number" and "It's a small world after all..."). However, during that same period of time, we replace the large majority of our close personal contacts and friendships with new ones. We maintain only about 30% of our original casual contacts over those seven years and just under half of our close friendships.
I've posted a lot about the so-called "Loneliness Epidemic" in the last year (see, in particular, my posts, "The Loneliness Epidemic", "To be of importance to others is to be alive...", and "We all need the human touch..."). There's another scene about halfway through "The Fox and the Hound". Tod's adoptive human mother, the Widow Tweed has realized that a fox is better off living in nature and not in captivity. She drives Tod out to the forest and lets him go. As she is driving back home, she recites the poem:
Remember how we used to play?
I recall those rainy days
The fire’s glow that kept us warm
And now I find, we’re both alone
Goodbye may seem forever
Farewell is like the end
But in my heart is a memory
And there you’ll always be
The key point here is that we should cherish the memories of friends long lost. They will always be a part of our lives, and we should keep them in our hearts forever. Just as important (and perhaps even more so), we shouldn't find ourselves alone because of those lost friendships. Personal connections and friendships are important to our overall health. As both the Widow Tweed and Gordie find out, while it's hard to move on, lost friendships can be replaced with new ones. As Genesis 2:18 reads, "It is not good for man to be alone." I will re-visit this topic in an upcoming post soon...

